"Party Commission" by captdiablo (resized) is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0
Dungeons and Dragons was the first TTRPG, and it was inspired by wargames that were played primarily by young heterosexual cis White males. As roleplaying took off in the 1980s, it was aimed at - and embraced by - the same demographic. Women, people of color, and queer folk also participated, but not in great numbers. Stereotypes developed which associated the game with antisocial, awkward young men and denied that others would be interested. These attitudes linger to this day and have likely kept some curious people from giving the hobby a try.
Then the moral panic of the 80s turned against roleplaying games, decrying them as Satanic in nature and dangerous for kids. Many players hid the fact that they enjoyed such games to avoid the stigma and repercussions. More than a few had their books confiscated and even destroyed by scared and offended adults who didn't try to understand them.
It took years for the hobby as a whole to recover. In the 90s, Vampire: the Masquerade attracted more women and as it gave D&D a run for its money, the World of Darkness may have also appealed more to other demographic groups. At the same time, Magic: the Gathering became a hit and brought more people into hobby shops, which also brought them into contact with TTRPG books that were sold there. And the spread of the internet into more homes helped connect gamers, so they weren't as restricted by local interest.
In the early 2000s, Dungeons and Dragons released a new edition (3rd) and the Open Game License, which allowed others to publish material using the ruleset. This license was the first of its kind in the hobby and set off a frenzy of creating and buying which further brought the hobby to mainstream awareness. Podcasts, video games, and other media expanded the reach. In the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, many home-bound people gave roleplaying a try, leading to a new spike in popularity.
These days, there are more people playing tabletop roleplaying games than ever before. Surveys usually report that men still outnumber other genders, more women and gender queer people are involved in the hobby. Age-wise, the games are most popular with millennials and younger people, but there are some older adherents, such as yours truly. The hobby is still predominantly White but more diversity is apparent.
Just about anybody could be a tabletop roleplayer, and just about anybody can become interested in it.
Gaming groups traditionally consist of one director and multiple players. The number of players varies based on how many the director feels comfortable running for, the location where sessions take place, and other personal concerns. There are many group arrangements, from one director and one player to massive live-action games with multiple directors and dozens of players. Commonly, groups have a handful of regular members and attendance can vary from session to session as obligations and emergencies arise.
A well-functioning gaming group reaches a consensus on rules and expectations. Everyone has to agree on a place and time to play, acceptable behavior, and other norms. The group also has to agree on which game system to use and who the director will be. Most of all, a group has to work together so the game is fun for everyone who attends. Whether members meet face-to-face or online, these things must be true for everyone to get along.
Groups develop their own culture and preferences as time goes on. They'll usually take on a certain tone when they play, from loud beer-and-pretzels chatter to wine and cheese play focused on the fictional world and staying in-character. Many groups favor a particular system, and some may not be willing to experiment with others. Some groups are dedicated to following the rules as written (RAW) while others run entirely on homebrew. Most groups show preferences for certain types of encounters, such as combat-oriented, social-heavy, or largely investigative.
Social aspects are also important. Acceptable types of humor and in-jokes from previous games are regular features. Welcome topics of discussion matter when conversing before a session or during breaks. There are also preferences about themes and content during gameplay. Some groups eschew cursing, drug references, and other mature content; others allow some topics but not others.
A group's culture will soon become apparent to new members, and that may not always be a pleasant experience. While good groups have some disagreements and variations in opinion, a certain level of respect and comfort are required for everyone to enjoy themselves. Being at cross-purposes about important matters can lead to dissatisfaction. If a group refuses to play in ways you desire most, you'll probably start feeling restless. Feeling insulted or disgusted are warning signs that a group probably isn't for you. Feeling unsafe at all is a cue to discreetly but swiftly make an exit.
You may have to try several groups, invite members from different groups into a new one, or create your own group to find a good fit. Chances are good that you can find or make what you need, online or offline. Either way, not gaming is better than bad gaming and everyone deserves respect and safety in the hobby.
If you'd like to be taught how to play a TTRPG for the first time, you'll probably want to meet people who already know the game. There are many places you can look, from social media groups to special apps to local gaming stores.
If you're meeting complete strangers, please be mindful of your safety. Ideally, you should meet in public spaces, check in with trusted people, and take an indirect route while going home. If you must meet in a private location, inform people you trust, check in regularly, and see if a friend will go with you for a few meetings. Ask who's expected to be there in advance and look into whoever you can via social media or other sources. Avoid parting with information about exactly where you live or what your routines are until you know people better.
If you feel uncomfortable due to someone else's behavior before, during, or after a session, speak with the director privately and pay attention to how they respond. If anyone dismisses or mocks you, the group probably isn't good for you. If you feel unsafe at any point, try to exit as soon as you can. If you're actively threatened, retreat and call for help. I hope this is advice no one has to use, but it's better to have a plan than not.
If you'd rather avoid strangers in real life, you can look for online games or ask people you know if they'd like to try playing. Many gamers are introduced to TTRPGs by friends and partners. If the people in your everyday life aren't interested, you can ask if they know anyone who might be or put out a call on social media profiles you share with people you know in meatspace.
Pick a movie, show, or video that you've watched before and which tells a story. Then, while it's running, ask yourself these questions:
Who are the main characters of the story? These would be the player characters in a TTRPG.
Which other key characters are present? These would be important NPCs.
How many bit parts are there? Those would be run-of-the-mill NPCs.
What are the player characters trying to do in each scene? If they were in a tabletop game, their players would be rolling dice for social skills, combat, and/or investigation.
What do the characters gain or lose during the course of the tale? Benefits like items, currency, special powers would be recorded on a character sheet; anything lost would be removed and would probably become unavailable.
If you're learning a particular game system, try to identify specific rolls that would be made. It might be fun to do this with someone who knows the system already so they can correct any mistakes.
There are so many reasons to try your first tabletop roleplaying game, experiment with new ones, and continue gaming. There are also plenty of reasons to get involved in the hobby, whether you're podcasting or blogging or attending conventions. And your reasons are likely to grow and shift as you go. So I'm not going to tell you why you should game; instead, I invite you to think about what you like and what you stand to gain. Because if you know why you game and what you want from it, you'll make better choices and get more out of the experience.
Give roleplaying games a try if you want to be:
challenged
connected
creative
engrossed
entertained
excited
inspired
A hobby you enjoy can enrich your life and this is true at any age, not just for children. Recreation is vital for our health and creativity is essential to our well-being. If you enjoy roleplaying games, you can have a blast for years - maybe for the rest of your days. You can make lifelong friends and create things you're proud of. And if it ends up not being your cup of tea, you can feel good about trying something new and learning about yourself.
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