Disclaimer: This page discusses one view of Thay, an infamously evil, slave-keeping, magocratic country in the Forgotten Realms. This vision is offered for entertainment purposes for adults only. I do not condone anything described; quite the opposite. Please read with discretion, and feel free to stop anytime. Before you use any ideas herein, please gain your group's full consent to engage the material.
"Backfire" by ncorva (resized) is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 3.0
Our Thayan campaign ran for about a decade, on and off. It would be nice to get back to it again sometime, but for now circumstances get in the way. Although it's an evil campaign and could get serious, we joked regularly along the way, in and out of character. And sometimes, if I had some spare moments while I was running, I'd jot down some of the banter that had us rolling. In later years, I'd share choice pieces on my social media pages. Recently, a Facebook follower suggested I gather them up and share them on this site, and I thought it sounded like a nice idea. A fun little homage!
Below are the quotes I've been able to find for now, listed in order of the dates they were posted. Keep in mind that our group has always been comprised of adults gaming privately among friends. We understand and support each other, and we don't mean anything serious or bad with the jokes we make. We also curse freely, so if you're uncomfortable with vulgar language, this page may not be for you.
In March of 2025, we got together and started reminiscing about mishaps from past adventures and laughing, and this exchange happened:
Richard: Dude, we suck!
Niki: Fucking amateurs!
I'm not sure when it first came up, but the unofficial motto of our Thayan campaign has been "fucking amateurs!" for a long time. Not because we were new players or new to D&D, or even because the characters had bad plans, but because the stupidest things would go wrong and we'd have to just deal with the results. If you can grin at that, you'll probably be amused with most of what's below.
Me: What [the evil empire of] Thay didn't have were good spin-doctors.
Nate: "...come to Thay! We have an anti-scrying net, so what happens in Thay stays in Thay!"
Heard at the table: Hey, if you can't be evil in Thay, where can you be evil?
Nate: The first rule of High Thay is: You do not talk about High Thay!
Trying to figure out what our sticky notes were about months and months after the fact is pure hilarity.
Me: The cat remembers more about where we were at than we do.
Richard: Masterwork?! Ha ha, yer funny!
Nate: Do you speak Abyssal?
Richard: I speak some form of Metal.
Richard: Did you just Smite me Sir?
Richard: Oh shit?! Is it gonna try to turn me!? ::claps in joy:: (he's playing the blackguard)
Richard: I have't smited good in years. I don't remember how to do it!
All: XD
Niki: We found the magic number! (The AC)
Me: Shut up you meta-gaming bitch!
All: XD
Niki: I did 2 points of damage!
Me: That is duly noted!
Niki: HOW MANY VALGONS DOES IT TAKE TO KILL A DIRE BADGER!?! Three, because none of us can hit for shit!
NPC: It fell on me, and its ass was so huge!
Nate: Pete's mom!
Me: LOL
Richard: Being moved around by things greater than myself.
Me: Welcome to Faerun.
Richard: I've got CR leaking out my pores!
Overheard at our gaming table last night:
Me: You can roll to see if you recognize her house insignia.
Nate (who's rolling low often): It's gonna be House Derp.
All: LOL
And then Nate went and made a House Derp banner to mark the occasion.
Overheard at the gaming table in our Thayan campaign last weekend, in which all the PCs are nobles:
NPC (sighs): Fucking nobles.
Nate and Richard: Right!
All: LOL!
Richard (after Niki whips out the rules): Where did you get your law degree?!
Me: In Thay!
Azonia's player: This is what we get for going into the temple of Beshaba!
Richard: Thay is a nation of small dick issues and you know it.
Staring our game: When last we left our intrepid fucking amateurs...
Niki has stated that this should be our normal opening from now on.
Richard, about how he plays his blackguard: I just ask, "What would Goebbels do?" and go with that.
Richard: I AM the fist of an angry god. BOOM!
Vik: I am not dingy! Dirty, yes, but not dingy!
Augustus: I could never get sick of you.
Peanut gallery: Can you even get sick?
Richard: No.
Me: The bard's song reached all allies.
Them: But what if our allies aren't listening to her?
Overheard at the game table last weekend: We're like the Bundys and shit. We'll pick on each other but if you pick on any of us, it's on!
Overheard at the gaming table last weekend: It's all waggler [wizard] to me.
Overheard at the gaming table last weekend: Which god have we pissed off?
Everyone else: Yes!
As in, all of them...
Overheard at the gaming table last weekend: This is some 7th Evil Ex Shit right here!
Overheard at the gaming table last weekend:
The PCs were presented with a scrumptious feast set up by NPCs hoping for an audience with them.
The rogue: It looks like back home; I don't trust it.
The cleric: Detect poison!
At last weekend's game.
Niki: What class is he?
Richard: Badass. Professional badass.
At last weekend's game.
Vik the rogue (rolling Perception): 37
Me: In a row?!
Augustus the blackguard: I may as well just nap along the road.
At last weekend's game.
Richard, playing Augustus the blackguard: I get travel supplies. I know how to do all that shit - I used to be first level.
At last weekend's game.
Augustus (at all the politics around them in Gauros): It really is Eltabbaran bullshit, isn't it? We brought it with us!
Azonia: It was already here. It's the Thayan way!
Vik the rogue (using the message spell in his house insignia by pressing on it): Breebeepbeep.
Augustus the blackguard: Acknowledge.
Richard: There's no reason to murder stealthily in the house of Bane. It probably happens during Mass when the mosh pit goes nuts.
Azonia the cleric: We need to talk with House Mishkov.
Augustus the blackguard: The jackasses?
Niki: You gonna take [my character] to church?
Me: Is that in the Hozier type way? Because I like that kind of church!
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